Friday, October 14, 2011

A Small Attempt to Explain the Supernatural

I have recently been in a place of intense expectancy for how God wants to show up in my life in a radical way. I wrote this 3 days ago:

It felt like a deposit had been made. Or like when you water a seed, day after day, tediously and seemingly fruitlessly. But suddenly a sprout breaks through the ground. Today-beneath confusion, doubt, anxiety and fear, water seeped through to my heart. I couldn’t explain how it managed to get through all that darkness and pain and reach the deepest parts of my soul. But there it was, nourishing and strengthening me for a time that is still to come. I sense it is coming soon. Yes, indeed it will come soon. Quickly and surely that green sprout will burst forth into a living tree that will never perish or fade. It will be a tree that has no fears.

Yesterday was that day of breakthrough between God's Spirit and mine. After a job interview for Shasta School District, I left for Starbucks feeling hopeful. As I sat with my iced coffee in a cushioned brown chair, I breathed in deeply and felt God speak words of encouragement directly to my heart. I was able to honestly think-whether or not I get this job, I trust Jesus for what he's doing in me. I was obedient to move to Redding and attend BSSM and God does indeed reward the obedient heart that is actively following him.

I left with the deepest, most unusual sense of peace I had ever experienced up to that point. Bethel is hosting an Open Heavens Conference and yesterday and today I served on the ushering team.
God has a way of blessing us when we're in service to him. I didn't expect him to show up in such mighty, powerful ways.

The afternoon and evening progressed with themes of passionate worship, biblical, Spirit-filled teaching and a wonderful corporate anointing with so many nations represented and Carol and John Arnott from Toronto as the guest speakers.

Carol led those in attendance in a prayer of forgiveness towards our parents, ourselves and towards God. As she declared soul ties to be broken in Jesus' name I was so moved spiritually, emotionally and physically that I fell backwards into the wall. I didn't realize I needed freedom from past relationships but wow, Jesus totally changed something inside of my heart at that moment. It was like, any stronghold the devil had was removed and replaced by God's beautiful power.

The night continued and after I drove away from the church I continued to feel this incomprehensible sense of peace and absolute JOY. I now understand what is meant by being "drunk" in the Spirit.

It's not an uncontrollable, reckless feeling, nor did I feel guilty or shameful or embarrassed like always happened when I used to drink (a long time ago, for a brief season. Thanks Jesus for bringing me out of that time. I'm meant for much more than that!). I don't really like the term drunk because that makes me think I was doing something wrong. It makes that experience seem impure or adulterated.

But last night was not those things. It was like liquid joy was flowing through my body. Like light was filling me up. I suppose it was a physical manifestation of what God does. He fills us with light and love and joy.

But this time was so intensely unique, personal, powerful, overwhelmingly wonderful. I was sitting in my car journaling and listening to the new David Crowder album. I finally understood what John Mark McMillan meant when he says-Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

I just wanted to share that intense love. I wanted to shout it out, pray for people, pour into others this love that has been so strongly poured into me. It really filled me up to continue serving at the conference today, and has just affirmed what I have known to be true about God. He's good, all the time. He's powerful and he moves among those who are hungry to seek Him.

In love and joy,

1 comment:

  1. Amanda Bieniek, you inspire me. Your happiness and love for God is infectious in the best of ways. I'm so happy you're loving your school so much and love reading about it!


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