Saturday, March 12, 2011


I still can't get over Matthew 6:6-this idea of being filled up by God in our secret-place meetings with Him. The premise of Henri Nouwen's book is obviously to live in the present moment. But that "present moment" is completely, radically, powerfully altered if we are continuously being filled by God.

"Something that reminds us of God's love-put in the center of our inner room, like a candle in a dark space. As long we we keep the candle in our dark room burning, we can return to that light and see clearly the presence of the one who offers us what we most desire," (Nouwen 23-24).

But I don't want just a candle. I want a blazing fire. Love lit on fire. If I spend my quiet time in that inner room, pouring out to God and allowing Him to pour into me, I believe it will be as Jeremiah exclaims:

But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. ~Jeremiah 20:9

God, I welcome you to be great in my life. Be extreme, beyond what I expect and beyond what I can even prepare myself. I don't want to be satisfied with a lack of God. To this call we give our whole lives.

Heaven is filled with absolute confidence in God. My life is often filled with doubt or disbelief. But now may my whole life mirror Your reality, Your face, Your thoughts, to usher in the reigning of Your Kingdom.


  1. "Heaven is filled with absolute confidence in God." Brilliant! This is so true. How awful we are with our disbelief and doubt, if only we could have more faith and trust in the Lord, then we could spread Love with more strength. Amanda, you speak with such inspiring wisdom. I am so excited to see how the Lord is working through you and how He will use you here in your last few months and continue to use you at Bethel. You have an amazing heart.

  2. I love that you desire more, more of God and His love. Why should we be satisfied with just a little flame? We should desire more of Him, but I think at times we get content with just a little bit and don't realize what we are missing out on. God wants to show us so much more! Your hearts prayer is a great reminder that we should all desire. Thank you for sharing this :)

  3. Amanda, I love you. May we both walk in the absolute confidence of our God. May we shine from the inside out. I am praying for the desires you have mentioned and I cannot wait to see you soon darling girl.

  4. Amanda, I love your real, raw, and unfiltered honesty of who you want to be for Christ. Your willingness to share your where you feel that you fall short is an encouragement for people like me that so often hide behind a the idea that everything is ok and that I am ok.

    Thanks for sharing!

  5. I want absolute confidence in God RIGHT NOW.

  6. Why be satisfied with a candle? When you can have a torch, or a bonfire...

    I agree with you Amanda, I don't ever want to be satisfied either.

  7. Psalm 107:8-9 "Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men, for He satifies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things."

  8. ah, amanda. thanks for sharing this. wow, i feel like i've never heard that verse in jeremiah. it's absolutely beautiful. thanks for calling all of our attention to a little more truth.


Thoughts, comments or questions are welcome!