Friday, January 28, 2011

Days of Chaos

One hour of Todd and Darin floating in liminal white space = fascinating, enlightening, comical, powerful

I spent two days trying to write a post commenting on the first Orbiter podcast...and all my thoughts and writing resulted in...chaos. So many ideas were stirring in my mind about success, failure, gratitude, and honesty. It's very difficult for me to be completely honest with myself, and of course in an online blog :)

I have so many dreams about what I want my life to look like.
Oswald Chambers declares that our obstinacy and self-will stab at Jesus. Placing a greater trust in our own dreams and rights hurts Him. I don't want to grieve the Spirit with my stubborn inability to place my present and future in the hands of One much more capable than me.

God's desire for us is to desire and seek a oneness with the Father, rather than a self-willed determination. I need to learn to submit my will to Christ. That often seems like a great idea! I look back through my journals of the past few months, and there are many seasons where my heart joyfully surrenders to the only one worthy of my dreams.

Today my prayer is one of submission. May my whole heart be surrendered to Jesus, because He is more than enough to care for me. Such an amazing love that tells me, It's all going to be ok. May I trust and keep trusting that He fulfills each and every need.


  1. So awesome Amanda! Your heart is postured in such a God-exalting way, thanks for the post :)

    I would encourage you to think about the fact that God designed you with certain Amanda-passions that, combined with your Spiritual gifts, SHOULD blossom into your future - and thinking about what that will look like isn't necessarily you barging in on God shaping your life, but an awakening to you understanding what God designed you to do here.

    From what I can see, you're in no danger of selfishly taking over your life plans for yourself. So from there, it's you acting on and pursuing the desires of your heart, with God shepherding you along the way (gentle or obvious prompts of redirection along the way).

    One thing we can't do is overly-desire God's will to the point where we become stagnantly 'waiting' and don't go for things because we're afraid of making decisions that are "taking over our life." That's not what it is.

    It's a tricky balance to approach our future with. But I would encourage you to seek affirmation that the things you desire are things that God would joyfully pursue WITH you. You're seeking God so strongly that if He wants to redirect you, you're going to realize it.

  2. I will be rpaying the same things for you.

  3. This is such a great balance that we as followers of Christ seek to acheive. Wholeheartedly surrendering to God and submitting to discovering his will...but also like Billy said...being aware of the gifts and passions that God has given us and not being afraid to use those.

  4. I love the fact I can see your heart so clearly in this post! I have had similar feelings recently. And every time I feel like I surrender fully, God kindly reminds me that it isn't a choice to surrender what we want, but it must be EVERYTHING! An no matter what happens, it's ALWAYS GONNA BE OK!

  5. Definitely just prayed this for both myself & you, " May our whole hearts be surrendered to Jesus, because He is more than enough to care for us. Such an amazing love that tells us, It's all going to be ok. May we trust and keep trusting that He fulfills each and every need." Amen


Thoughts, comments or questions are welcome!