What are your moments of enlightenment?

What are your moments of enlightenment?

1. Argentina, waiting for the bus from the airport. The first realization that time does not always mean doing life by my schedule.
2. Learning loss in Argentina, one week into the trip, in Russia and in Turkey. Losing what I thought was valuable and continuing to wrestle with that loss throughout the trip. The drive from Cairo to Sinai and dealing with my frustrations of having no music or books to pass the time.
3. The idea of doing absolutely nothing for 4 days on the felucca sailboats, and being moved by our devotions, Dr. Norton’s message about Woe to you who go back to Egypt for comfort. Too much time for prayer and not enough distractions.
4. Africa-dealing with the apprehension and fear of coming to Kenya. Worried that my life would change, that God would call me back, that my heart would break for the country.
5. The walk in Kibera, the second largest Urban slum in Africa. The homestays with Mamma Grace and Joyce’s family, selling vegetables and reading Scripture together with her family.
6. All of India. Being constantly uncomfortable and slightly on edge.
7. Learning to deal with my discomfort, my fears, my anxiety and seeing that God is the only constant thing on this trip and in my life.
8. Learning that I only have a small amount of control over the future and my future ambitions. Trusting in God that he will provide and take care of my living situation, money, my car, classes, my job and career and my relationship with friends, family and Matt.
9. Knowing that I need to be continually praying for my mom, sisters, brothers and family
10. Accepting a compliment.
11. Finding joy in writing and recording stories.
12. Seeing joy in people who have nothing, no money, little food, poor living conditions, children begging and not in school.
13. Having church, worship and devotions with no carpet, no coffee, no fancy sound equipment, no RockHarbor.
14. Wearing the same 3 outfits over and over. Learning to be dirty and not hate every second.
15. Diving into Scripture and reconnecting with God who wants to speak truth and love into my heart
16. Preparing and dealing with Spiritual warfare in Turkey and Egypt and in primarily Muslim or Hindu countries.
17. Dreaming about how God will use me to impact the world
18. Giving a devotion and knowing that God will use my to speak His truth
19. Discovering that the Lord does give strength to his people, he blesses his people with peace
20. Recording the good and the bad. Getting frustrated with God, saying that He has taken everything away from me. And he has. He is removing my crutches, my earthly desires, what I think I need or want. He has taken them and replaced them with a beautiful community of fellow Christians who can pray and support me.
21. Not having anything else to rely on but God-no clothes, no snacks, no car, no music, no job, no income, no cell phone, no Internet, no schedule or Starbucks. Relying fully on him as my support, my foundation, my comfort, my joy, my love, my devotion

Ponderings from the Nile River

I made it back alive after a 3-day felucca trip up the Nile. A felucca is a traditional wooden sailboat used primarily to sail the Nile. 30 of us had 2 feluccas with 2 crew members on each. We ate vegetarian each meal and plenty of pita with various toppings. We took a night train Friday from Cairo to Aswan, and boarded the boat Saturday afternoon. I showered Thursday night before we left for Aswan, and then not again until this afternoon, Tuesday. I am definitely being pushed from my comfort zone; at home I shower at least once per day. And Egypt is hot. I mean hot. We were dripping sweat most of the time, which meant of course-we must cool off in the Nile.

It is extremely questionably water; I am sure it was not too safe for my new tattoo (see previous post..), but no one got sick and it was nice to float around with no real agenda. Free time is a new concept to this group, because we are always rushing somewhere, having classes, studying or taking tests. This semester has been my busiest yet, even without my job or friends and family to spend my time with.

Saturday night I spent a few hours just laying on the boat and praying. I journaled, I re-read my posts from the beginning of the trip, and pondered my future. It is difficult to dwell on the future when I am thousands of miles away and a continent and oceans prevent me from planning every or any details.

I read Tales of a Female Nomad this weekend. It showed me that I do not have to worry about providing for my every need. There are so many people out there that have helped me find a place to stay, a job, transportation, friendships, etc. God has me in his hand. That concept is so abstract, it doesn't always fit in my head very well. But while I know the value of planning and hoping for a good job and for things to turn out well, this time I want to fully depend on God. It is perfect, because I have no ability to work out my own future this far away.

My felucca ponderings have given me a peace about these next six months. I cannot wait to see my family and friends in December, and what is beyond Christmas I have no idea. I will rest in that, because God has always, always, always revealed the next step for me.

Tonight we leave for Kenya, and internet will be intermittent, if at all. If you don't hear from me, just pray that God would continue to work in this team and in my heart. Daily He is showing me how to trust in his plan rather than stress about how to provide on my own.