Healing testimony!

Tonight at Bethel we had an Advanced Healing Rooms training for prayer servants and for people who serve in the healing ministry/Healing Rooms at Bethel. We had a time of worship, thanking God for all the amazing testimonies and prayers we have heard and seen answered. After that people shared a few testimonies!-My favorite part about gatherings like this.

Worship before testimony time!

One woman shared her personal testimony of cancer being healed. I had heard this story because it happened 3 weeks ago on a Saturday during the Healing Rooms. But I hadn't met the woman who the testimony was about and here she was-on stage, mic in hand, sharing about God's goodness and faithfulness! She had had caner for several years up to this point. She came for healing prayer for her back pain, not even for the cancer. She had gotten so used to battling the cancer, she wanted the prayer ministry team to focus on her back pain. Well someone in the team of 3 got a word of knowledge about the woman's foot. She looked down at her shoe and gasped-she had a small tumor on her foot but didn't mention anything to the ministry team. They had her take her shoe off and the tumor was gone-only a small circular imprint where the tumor used to be raised up. I'm sure her face then and her face tonight were very similar-full of joy, wonder, peace and gratitude for a King who loves to heal his children.

Another testimony that was shared tonight-Bethel sent a team down to Southern California this past week to minister with a few churches. After one of the speakers shared a message, they asked for anyone who needed healing prayer to come forward. Except, this particular church didn't believe the spiritual gifts of healing, prophesy, etc were for today. Well....this church believes it now! Because God showed up and started healing people! A woman who had severe scoliosis stood up after someone called out a world of knowledge that God was healing back problems. Well she claimed that word as for her and she stood up. As she stood up, her visibly crooked shoulders and back came into alignment and she stood up normally! Except everyone in the church knew that wasn't normal for her! Now it is! Thank you Jesus!

A pastor from a different church was visiting this church where the woman was healed, among many others. He saw the spirit of God move in such a powerful way-through healing, ministry time, counsel and encouragement. He left that night, went to the front of his own church the next morning and publicly apologized and repented in front of the congregation. He apologized for not believing that God's heart is to always heal. He had never seen a healing until the night before and then committed to the church body to pursue everything that Jesus died for-salvation of the spirit, soul and body!

I love this place! I feel very equipped and confident moving on from this season into the next. Jesus has been so good during this time to speak truth and life and love over me and my heart. He's such a good dad!

A Small Attempt to Explain the Supernatural

I have recently been in a place of intense expectancy for how God wants to show up in my life in a radical way. I wrote this 3 days ago:

It felt like a deposit had been made. Or like when you water a seed, day after day, tediously and seemingly fruitlessly. But suddenly a sprout breaks through the ground. Today-beneath confusion, doubt, anxiety and fear, water seeped through to my heart. I couldn’t explain how it managed to get through all that darkness and pain and reach the deepest parts of my soul. But there it was, nourishing and strengthening me for a time that is still to come. I sense it is coming soon. Yes, indeed it will come soon. Quickly and surely that green sprout will burst forth into a living tree that will never perish or fade. It will be a tree that has no fears.

Yesterday was that day of breakthrough between God's Spirit and mine. After a job interview for Shasta School District, I left for Starbucks feeling hopeful. As I sat with my iced coffee in a cushioned brown chair, I breathed in deeply and felt God speak words of encouragement directly to my heart. I was able to honestly think-whether or not I get this job, I trust Jesus for what he's doing in me. I was obedient to move to Redding and attend BSSM and God does indeed reward the obedient heart that is actively following him.

I left with the deepest, most unusual sense of peace I had ever experienced up to that point. Bethel is hosting an Open Heavens Conference and yesterday and today I served on the ushering team.
God has a way of blessing us when we're in service to him. I didn't expect him to show up in such mighty, powerful ways.

The afternoon and evening progressed with themes of passionate worship, biblical, Spirit-filled teaching and a wonderful corporate anointing with so many nations represented and Carol and John Arnott from Toronto as the guest speakers.

Carol led those in attendance in a prayer of forgiveness towards our parents, ourselves and towards God. As she declared soul ties to be broken in Jesus' name I was so moved spiritually, emotionally and physically that I fell backwards into the wall. I didn't realize I needed freedom from past relationships but wow, Jesus totally changed something inside of my heart at that moment. It was like, any stronghold the devil had was removed and replaced by God's beautiful power.

The night continued and after I drove away from the church I continued to feel this incomprehensible sense of peace and absolute JOY. I now understand what is meant by being "drunk" in the Spirit.

It's not an uncontrollable, reckless feeling, nor did I feel guilty or shameful or embarrassed like always happened when I used to drink (a long time ago, for a brief season. Thanks Jesus for bringing me out of that time. I'm meant for much more than that!). I don't really like the term drunk because that makes me think I was doing something wrong. It makes that experience seem impure or adulterated.

But last night was not those things. It was like liquid joy was flowing through my body. Like light was filling me up. I suppose it was a physical manifestation of what God does. He fills us with light and love and joy.

But this time was so intensely unique, personal, powerful, overwhelmingly wonderful. I was sitting in my car journaling and listening to the new David Crowder album. I finally understood what John Mark McMillan meant when he says-Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

I just wanted to share that intense love. I wanted to shout it out, pray for people, pour into others this love that has been so strongly poured into me. It really filled me up to continue serving at the conference today, and has just affirmed what I have known to be true about God. He's good, all the time. He's powerful and he moves among those who are hungry to seek Him.

In love and joy,

Jesus is the prototype for the ministry of the Believer

Since I found out in January that I'd be coming to Bethel for their school of supernatural ministry, I've been praying a lot for discernment. For months my mentor and I pressed in for God to give me a supernatural power to discern the teachings and leadership I'd find at Bethel.

September came and I felt secure in coming and God has totally answered that prayer. In the 5 weeks I've been here-I've realized something else: I've begun to truly, wholeheartedly trust the leadership at Bethel Church. Their core values reflect Jesus and the Kingdom. Their hearts are to pursue the Kingdom of God here on earth-not at the expense of love but rather from an outpouring of the Father's heart and love for His children. We display God's power and glory as a sign to point to Jesus and his ministry.

Our classes in school have course overviews and objectives, a few summaries of which I'll post here:

• "The Bible is the primary, authoritative guide to the faith and practice of Christianity. All supernatural and natural experience must be measured by the Truth as revealed in God's Word. God is still speaking but everything we hear now must be consistent with what He has spoken. We cannot lead properly, or in a healthy, holy manner in the Christian community if we don't know how to understand the Word."

• "The goal is to train students in areas of service, ministry and evangelism to and for our community...to develop competency and confidence in bringing the love and life changing power of God into respectful, loving encounters with individuals so as to bring them to a saving connection with Christ and contribute to city-wide transformation."

• "We will demonstrate God's ability and willingness to move in power with and for his people. Jesus's minstry, dependence and expectation are the blueprint for the Christian life. Keeping in step with the Holy Spirit as the apostle Paul commands will result in a naturally supernatural lifestyle."

• "We demonstrate God's grace, His unconditional love and transforming power to everyone. We impact every socioeconomic group and cultural realm, that mercy and justice would reign because we pastor a city, not just a church."

• The goal of BSSM and our time here is to form "Believers who are focused and passionate, willing to pay any price to live in community, purity and power because they are loved by God and love Him. Whose manifest presence transforms lives and cultures."

BSSM-Week 1

This past week has been...full of revelation, insight, information, reading, sermons, information, incredible worship, friends, information and devotions. And more information! I can't contain it all in my head-let alone in my heart, various journals and on this blog. Here's some of the great revelation and teaching we have received at Bethel and BSSM so far in the past week:
Sunday September 11: Bill Johnson taught from Matthew 16

The Demand for a Sign

 ¹ The Pharisees and Sadducees came to Jesus and tested him by asking him to show them a sign from heaven. ² He replied, “When evening comes, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,’ ³ and in the morning, ‘Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times.⁴ A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah.” Jesus then left them and went away. 

• They had an inborn capacity to discern the times, but they shut down the spiritual aspect. The wicked look for a sign (something to entertain them, rather than to reveal God to His people). Jesus's identity is one of redeemer and reconciler, and he did miracles before and after this verse. 
• We are to seek what God wants to reveal to us-not as entertainment, but as a way to see God's heart. 
• Jesus isn't rebuking the need for miracles, but rather their simple addition of Jesus to their life-rather than re-orienting their life towards Jesus. They fit him in where it was convenient for them. We don't seek signs, we seek the sign-giver. 
• Jesus is the exact representation of His Father's nature --> every miracle is a revelation of the Father's heart and nature. It is never a miracle for a miracle's sake-it's an invitation to a deeper relationship with God. 
• A miracle is the manifestation of His heart. Our Christ-like character is shaped through obedience to Him. Power in God doesn't exist only to help us overcome sin-Jesus has already done that. 

BSSM Day 1, Tuesday September 13:

•  Tying into Bill's message on Sunday-The miracle is to be the lens with which you view your next problem. A miracle reveals God's character and says what He's like. It's a dependable source that says God's desire is for healing, restoration and freedom-in the next problem/circumstance as well as the last. 

BSSM Day 2, Wednesday September 14:
Kris Vallotton

• Word of Knowledge-currently true and measurable

• Prophecy-a foretelling and forth telling 

The importance of identity in Christ-

• A man raised in internal slavery cannot free people from external slavery.
• When you don't love who God has made you you tend to push others away that place a value on you.
• You become what you think the most important person in your life thinks you are...You'll become what God thinks of you.
• Oftentimes we try to get by performance what we already received by grace and faith.

Condemnation: you lied, you're a liar. Your bad behavior determines your identity
Conviction: from the Holy Spirit, you're acting below your nature and below what God has called you to be, so stop.


BSSM Day 3, Thursday September 15:
Kris Vallotton and Bill Johnson

The importance of our royal identity as sons and daughter of the King-as heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ.
It's an insult to the artist if we trash the painting-God was the artist, Jesus the model and you are the painting.

• When you pray to God and not with God, you can miss what he is doing and miss his heart.
• God wants us to experience the joy of giving away his presence.
• God lights the fire on the altar of sacrifice but the priests keep adding to the fire. 
• A lot of stuff gets blamed on the sovereignty of God...
• Most of what you need in life will be brought to you. Most of what you want you'll have to reach for. What are you willing to sacrifice for/reach for to know and see his will be done?
• Mark 6:52-⁵¹ Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, ⁵² for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened.
• Why do you reason that you have no bread-after he's already provided for in that way?
• Hardness-we lose focus of the resources of Heaven and abandon what we have access to.
• When we honor someone, it allows us to function under their authority
• Power and authority-two complimentary realms that allow us to be used
• Power-a wave, to catch and cooperate and be used with the Spirit
• Authority-based on our faith in who God is and what He says about us.
• The Father cannot be fully revealed/shown without the power to destroy the works of the devil. God is capable AND has the heart to show it.

BSSM Day 4, Friday September 16:
Bill Johnson

• God knows when to delay an answer-it gains interest. When it finally comes, it'll be greater than when you first asked because God has done an invaluable work in you so that you may receive a greater answer. 

• If you hunger for a realm of breakthrough (i.e. every broken bone you prayed for God would heal), God wanted it first. God is still more moved for others than we are.
• The person who can't ever rejoice over a healed headache can't be trusted with an empty wheelchair.
• Are we trustworthy stewards of the acorn, though we pray for an oak tree. The Kingdom sees the potential. What we see in the natural is just a seed compared to the spiritual. 
• Enduring prayer makes us more ready to receive the answer.
• Many people tolerate loss and call it discipline from God. God doesn't give the thief permission to steal. The devil's not God's employee. 

Wow...Week one of BSSM has been...full. These are just the most main points of each day. Every bullet I compiled also came with a story, testimony, scripture, illustration etc to make the point hit to our hearts.

Sunday morning: Bethel Church

I felt like God said to me, You will glean from the mothers and fathers here who have seen God move throughout the nations. There are valuable, golden lessons to be learned through the testimonies of those who have gone before you. Write them down as a pillar of hope and as a radical display of God's goodness.


Bill Johnson:

• Israel focused on the acts of God, Moses sought his ways and his nature. When we rejoice only over what God's done, then when he doesn't do what we want him to do, we'll question his goodness.
• God will is never judged by mans response to His will, or our ability to carry it out.
• Gifts are free, maturity is expensive. Maturity creates a platform for the weightiness of his glory. 

Receiving Rest

I woke up this morning after a few hours of sleep. My first thought was of the intense awareness of God's Presence. My eyes opened and I laid there breathing in and out prayers of peace, of love and joy for provision, prayers that declare His faithfulness, prayers of pure thanksgiving to Jesus. Though I can't pinpoint or describe the process of change, it was a clear difference from yesterday.

It was like He softened my heart while I was sleeping...like I was resting and He came in and rained down life upon my spirit. Usually this feeling comes after travailing weeks of prayer, fasting, worshiping, journaling, and counseling. But today, I didn't do a thing to work for this peace, to search it out, to chase after it, to entice it near or to find it. I just slept. I just rested.

Perhaps this is the day I begin to learn the value of rest. Now I am realizing I don't have to push myself to be closer to Jesus-no longer do I need to try hard to feel His presence or work out the formula to encounter Him. He has just been knocking at the door...Jesus, come in! Come in and dwell here, make yourself known here, bring life and joy that emanates from your presence.

After writing this I felt a leading to read Zechariah 2:10-13

10“Shout and be glad, O Daughter of Zion. For I am coming, and I will live among you,” declares the Lord. 11“Many nations will be joined with the Lord in that day and will become my people. I will live among you and you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you. 12The Lord will inherit Judah as his portion in the holy land and will again choose Jerusalem. 13Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.”

---

More love. More healing. More Jesus.

So much has happened since those few weeks in Bali. I have learned more about the heart of God than I have ever known. God has been revealing Himself in so many profound, encouraging, powerful, kind, gentle and loving ways. I have seen His provision and faithfulness countless times. The past few weeks before leaving Orange County comprised an amazing season of recounting God's goodness and just how specifically He answers prayers.

In July I had an opportunity to attend a home group where a mentor, pastor and friend of mine prayed for me. This prayer, second to the prayer I proclaimed when I was 13, has had the greatest impact on my life thus far. This pastor shared a vision and word that he received: Not only will you have a healing ministry, but you have a ministry specifically for people with broken bones, crooked bones, bones that hadn't healed right. You're going to pray for these people and God is going to heal them.

Ummm...what? Until that night I had never prayed on my own for a physical healing. I had studied the theory behind it-what it would look like, why it would happen-because it reveals God's love for us and His desire to bring wholeness to the entire person-Spirit and body.

That night God began a healing ministry through me-not because I was suddenly a better person or a more holy Christian-only because I had a small amount of faith in what God is like and what He desires, and I took a small step in obedience and prayed. He did the rest.

Since then God has been showing up in such powerful ways through physical healing. People are amazed that God cares enough that His presence and love takes away pain, headaches, dislocations, double vision, and healing beyond the physical as well.

I have learned that a physical healing goes far beyond making someone pain-free. It's literally an invasion of heaven into earth-where God's kingdom invades and casts away pain, darkness, suffering, loneliness, fear and hopelessness. It's a physical representation of His goodness, power, joy and absolute love for us. It's wonderful, profound, breathe-taking, and my mind cannot comprehend how it actually happens! It is beyond the natural, and beyond my ability to rationalize or reason. It is beautiful, and I am honored and so encouraged by what God has been doing.

My hope in sharing this story is that others would be equally encouraged by God's goodness. God is good all the time, and that has never changed. I don't know the depth of His love, but I'm pressing in to find out more of what that looks like.

Revelation of Love, Healing and Miracles

 8 months ago I sat on a beach in Bali, Indonesia, enjoying the waves, laughter of friends and the deepest sense of physical rest I had felt in weeks. My eyes were closed as I pondered what the next month would bring. My 4-month semester abroad was already 80% completed, and I had a black journal full of travel stories, revelations, prayers and dreams to process through. God had blessed me with an unusual peace about what my future would hold. I didn’t know what life would look like a month from that beach day. Normally that would frighten me to the point of anxiety. However, that sunny afternoon with waves crashing on white sand, I was calm despite looming final exam dates and the inability to predict or plan my life.

What interrupted that calm peace would change my whole life, in personal ways, professional ways and most importantly, in how I view God and how He manifests himself through me and to others.

I heard a man begin to pray for a local guy who had been walking up and down the beach, selling hand made bracelets for a few rupiah. Not only was this man praying, he was praying this local man would be healed of back problems...a physical healing. Up to this point in my 21 years, I believed God wanted to heal. I believed He also could heal. I had heard stories of this. But that was the extent of my thoughts and experiences with miracles and healing. It was a distant concept, and one that I had yet to seek for myself or for those around me.

That afternoon, despite a language barrier and the obvious religious clash of Christianity and Hinduism, the Holy Spirit healed through an obedient follower of Jesus and the power of Christ.

That’s all it took. I was shocked.

I was surprised, joyful, excited and even angry with myself for not pursuing this type of ministry sooner. It was from those emotions and revelations that I began my pursuit. It was a relentless hunger for the true character of God. That day on the beach began an 8-month study of healing, miracles, signs, wonders and the place from which they all flow-the furious, unhindered, overflowing LOVE of Christ.

I learned that God doesn’t just come to heal a physical part of a person-that action is like a clanging cymbal if it isn’t founded from a place of love. God heals the physical person to push for healing of the whole person. It is to display God’s power but more important is the visual representation of God invading darkness, evil, (in some cases sin), sickness and pain, casting that out by His perfect love.

It is THAT LOVE that I pursue now. How deep is it? Is there anything God would not do to show and manifest His love for us?

What is the extent of His love?

What request is too great for this love?

Am I willing to, in faith, rely on this love to break through sickness and pain so that God would be glorified through the revelation of His true character?

That’s where I stand now. No longer on a beach, but my mind and heart are still in awe at the radical, unhindered love of God. What does it look like? Let’s find out.

Freedom

I have been experiencing God's Presence in the most unusual ways at the most unexpected times. God has been showing me how much joy He brings through surprise encounters with Him. It is so amazing.
I can hardly count the ways in these past 3 weeks that I have really felt the Spirit.
I went up for prayer after service last week, after Johnny spoke about experiencing absolute FREEDOM that is given from Christ. I wasn't really dealing with anything particular. He said whoever just wants more of Jesus, come up for prayer.
Infinite amounts of freedom.
More and more, an increasing amount.
Be free and keep being free and keep experiencing His freedom.

The other day I was driving in my car (Cupcake! haha) and I was just thinking about the pure goodness of God. I just started crying. Seriously, it was probably mildly to moderately dangerous to be driving.

There's something so cathartic about just crying out to God. I love those moments of pure honesty. Sometimes it feels safer just to put a nice buffer in my prayer life. But when that comes down, wow. It's like God just comes in and removes all the space between us.
I want to live with no space between us.
That is what I have been resting in the past few days.

I am still guarding my mornings and setting aside time for communion with Jesus. I feel like those times in the morning, more so after the coffee is brewed, I am sowing into Heaven.

I don't always see the reward there-maybe I see it later in the day or week, in a breakthrough in a friend, an answered prayer request, getting rocked during worship, having Scripture come to mind at the perfect time, being able to receive a word from someone, experiencing an overflow of joy at the reality of His Freedom. If effectiveness is measured in overflow, I am totally experiencing that lately.

I wanted to document this season because I know it doesn't always seem so...rewarding or some other adjective...I'll be praying for continued breakthrough for you, my friends. May the reality of His love and peace surround you today.