100. To do list

I have a life's to do list. It is organized by category: Spiritual, Outdoors, Travel, Altruism, Creative, Learning, Silly and a general "Life."

Number 100 is the last on my list, but it seems to be gaining an ever-increasing amount of importance on my heart and in this season.

100. Write a letter to everyone I love

Sounds simple, a 7-word sentence. But I am afraid of number 100. It would take up my whole heart, entirely.

I reminisce on this list because tonight I got some shocking news. My great grandma passed away today. She was 96 years old. Jean Forbes first inspired my love of travel. She has been to over 100 countries, and helped my buy my first international plane ticket when I was 15.

She experienced so much in her long life-probably more than a list of life to-do's organized by category could every portray.

But there is some controversy surrounding her death. I don't want to be graphic, but these details are what have shaken me the most today.

My great grandmother was found at the bottom of a cliff, near a creek by her home.
She suffered from dementia, which could easily explain a lapse in judgment, lack of coordination or just a blatant unawareness of her surroundings.

The deeper part of my heart believes she was absolutely incapable of taking her own life. Such a life of adventure, wonder, experience and love could not be commit such a crime. But the other part of my mind needs prayer. Prayer to get such an image out of my mind and heart, because it has no place there.

 I will forever remember my great grandma as a beautiful, stubborn, sweet and funny individual. She traveled, she lived, she saw, she recorded her stories in journal upon journal.

My heart aches that such a lovely person is gone, in such a tragic way. It makes my whole being shake with the desire for my whole family to know the power of Christ's love. Because he has changed my life, forever and ever.

My perspective is eternal, stretching to encompass a God who sent his son to die for ME and for YOU and for US. He died for those who love Him, and for those who turned away from Him, and for those who never took a second glance at Him. He loves the sinners, the broken, the lost, the found, the orphans, the pastors, the homeless, the joyful and the confused.

So, in honor of my family, may the strength I have been gifted from God give me the ability to transcend this earthly understanding.

Because I have been found by Christ. And that love surpasses all understanding.

101. To attempt to grasp the height, depth, width and breadth of His LOVE for us.